Listening Before Disagreeing

Listening Before Disagreeing ​ The beautiful rain clouds of Xenon covered the sky as I sat in class across from my best friend Jace. The room was quiet except for the sound of the lights and the rain tapping on against the windows. We had started talking about conspiracy theories, just to hear what each other's thoughts were on the topic. Neither of us expected for that to turn into an argument. ​ At first, everything was fine. We talked about different theories with our opinion and why we believe certain things. I would explain my opinion, then my friend would speak. I enjoyed hearing from different perspectives on certain topics. I listened to his opinion, but I didn’t agree. ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ “Yeah bud, that never happened.” I said. “Yeah? How would you know?” Jace asked. “Because it doesn’t make enough sense, there's no source.” Jace then started explaining his point and why he felt as if it was true, but then I started thinking about what I was going to say back, instead of trying to understand their point, I was already trying to prove my own point. ​ After a while, the conversation started getting heated. We both started getting upset that either of our points were getting through. This caused us to yell at each other not listening to what either is saying. Whenever Jace said something, I wanted to respond immediately. Whenever I said something, Jace did the same. ​ ​ ​ “Yelling isn’t doing anything but making us fight more.” I said “Honestly bro, this conversation is over.” Jace replied For a second it was just silent treatment. The conversation was then over. We weren’t getting anywhere by yelling at each other. We just both wanted to be heard, but neither of us was actually listening. I wanted Jace to understand my side, but I didn’t give him the chance for me to understand his. The room felt a lot quieter after we stopped talking. All you could hear was the rain softly tapping on the windows. I looked outside the window and thought about how something that started off as a simple conversation ended with both of us not talking to each other. After a while, it was lunch time and we sat next to each other. We decided to talk about it, without yelling or interrupting each other. Jace explained his side, and I actively listened. That doesn’t mean I agree with him, but I understood his point better than I did before. When it was my turn to explain my opinion, Jace listened. Once I finished, we realized that we didn't have to agree with each other to talk about it. We could have different opinions without getting mad at each other. “We can just disagree and leave it as is.” I said. “Yeah bro. I guess you’re right.”Jace replied. This made me realize that the whole argument could have been avoided if we had just listened to each other from the beginning. We were both so focused on proving one point rather than taking the time to understand one point. Even though Jace and I didn’t change each other’s minds, at the end of the day we understood each other’s opinion better. That was more important than proving who was right. We were able to have a conversation with it exploding. The rain slowed down outside, and the clouds over Xenon began to clear. I thought about how quickly the conversation had shifted. It made me realize how easy it is for a disagreement to become an argument if no one is willing to listen. Now, when I disagree with someone, I listen to their side, validate it, then I respond with what I have to say. I don’t have to agree with anyone, but at the same time I don’t have to show disrespect to that person because of an opinion. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is listen, understand where the other person is coming from, and decide what you think for yourself. I learned that being able to understand another person’s point of view is more important than always trying to be right.